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Is Your Life Like A Leaking Coffee Cup?


Is your life a solid, unbreakable mug or more like a leaking coffee cup?

If it’s the latter, then there’s a great chance it’s keeping you stuck, drained or exhausted with life.

But, the great news is…..You’re here!   So, you’re just moments away from discovering four simple remedies!

So, let’s get started!

Now, take a moment to imagine you’ve just purchased a takeaway cup of coffee (or tea, if you prefer).

See yourself holding it between your hands.  It’s extremely hot so you must be careful. Steam is streaming through the small opening on the top of the lid.

After you take your first sip, you feel the comforting warmth enter your body and you start feeling recharged.


The moment you take your second sip, you feel something is a bit wrong, a bit off, the cup feels strangely light.

As you look down, you see that holes have appeared in all sides of your takeaway cup, and the liquid is leaking out in all directions.

There are too many holes to stop the leak, so your once comforting and warm experience has rapidly turned into a very wet experience.  Where you’re left standing with a soggy, albeit very expensive, cardboard coffee cup and some very wet shoes! 🙁

Now, that liquid being drained from your cup, can be likened to your personal power being lost or drained away.

You see, every time we look backwards, dwell on regret, follow others to gain acceptance or approval, cast blame (whether towards ourselves or others), play the victim card, carry unresolved shame or guilt, or even when we simply say ‘yes’, when we really want to say ‘no’ – all these very common scenarios weaken us.  They drain us of all our strength and power.  And, just like the empty shell of that very soggy coffee cup, we will be an empty shell, completely drained of all our energy.

So, what’s the solution?

How do we reinforce ourselves in such a way, that we become less-like a cardboard coffee cup + more like a diamond encrusted, A-grade impenetrable cup?

And, more importantly, how do we protect ourselves without closing down our heart?  Or, becoming cold + unfeeling?

Well, the first step is….

We must accept responsibility.

After all, it is us, whether knowingly or unknowingly, who allows us to be drained by the external world around us.

The great news is… If WE allow it, then WE have the ultimate control and WE can stop it.

But, the question is how?

Well, in all honesty, there are endless ways to plug up the holes and it’s very dependent upon our very personal life circumstances, but let me run through 4 of the most common solutions with you right now.

STEP 1:  We Need To Be Honest With Ourselves And Others.

You see, every time we’re untrue, we weaken ourselves, we bury our own voice, and we lose a part of ourselves.

We need to realise that our strength and courage within our life, comes from standing within our OWN truth. Nobody else’s.

So, next time you want to speak up or say ‘no’ to something – do it.

Respect yourself and embrace what feels right for you, without fear and without the need of guilt.

This is your life to live and YOU are solely responsible for the choices you make.

Start living by the adage: What feels right for you – is right and what feels wrong for you – is wrong. Simple.

The great news is, the moment we do this, the moment we shift inwards and begin to feel what’s right and wrong for us on a very personal level and we follow those indicators, we plug up one of the drainage holes in our ‘coffee cup of life’.

Simply, because we’re pulling the power back into ourselves.

STEP 2:  We Must Stop The Blame Game

Yes, others may be the biggest A**holes to have ever walked this earth!

They may have done great injustices or wrongs to us or our family.

But, ask yourself….

Are you willingly to tie long ropes to various parts of your body and then pass the ends of those ropes, to those very same people who have done you wrong?  Giving them complete power to pull on those ropes anytime they like, at whim, whenever they desire?

Like you are a marionette doll, to be played with?

I bet you wouldn’t!

But, the unfortunate truth is, many of us are putting ourselves in this exact position, on a daily basis.

We’re unknowingly handing off our power, our health, our mind, our life force energy to others, every time we play the ‘blame game’.

So, ask yourself…

If you have a cup FULL of energy, let’s call it your Cup of Life.

  • Do you wish to give it to others to use at their whim? Even others, who have done you wrong in the past?
  • Or, would you prefer to keep this precious Cup of Life for yourself?  So, you can use it to create something magical within your own life?

These are the ONLY 2 choices we have:

  1. Do we hand our life, or life energy over to others for them to use?
  2. Or, do we use our life and our energy, for ourselves? And in a way, that we desire?

So, from today….

If you wish to plug up one of those holes in your Cup of Life, instead of throwing your energy outwards with blame or anger and draining your cup of life, start bringing your energy, your attention inwards and start focussing on the valuable lessons you learnt from specific people or specific situations.

Ask yourself; what did the person or situation bring into your life that has helped you progress in someway?

Start focussing on what you WANT to create within your life, not what is currently upsetting you.

Remember, it’s YOUR Cup of Life!  You can use it however you wish.

My wish for you, is that you learn to invest it wisely, within yourself and start creating the life you so desire and deserve.

Now, the third quick-fix to reinforcing your Cup of Life is to…

STEP 3:  Change HOW You Worry

Notice, I didn’t say ‘stop worrying!’   Because, we all know that’s probably not going to happen.  

After all, it’s a fact that we all worry at various times throughout our lives.  Some people worry infrequently and others worry constantly.  They even worry about the fact that they’re worrying.

For me, to advise anyone NOT to worry is pretty useless advice! So, what’s the solution then?

Well, it’s simple really.  In fact, there’s only two steps.

The first step is to….

Drop anything that’s not yours to worry about.

By this I mean, anything that you cannot directly affect or implement a solution for.

For example; if my friend is having arguments with her boyfriend, why do I need to worry?

Yes!  It may be sad if they break up but there’s absolutely nothing I can personally do to affect the outcome.  This is their life path, not mine.

The key to remember here, is that it’s perfectly natural and okay to support others, that’s what life is all about.  However, we must not carry their luggage for them, throughout the journey.

We must always give the correct bag, to its rightful owner for them to carry in THEIR journey of life.

Now, after you’ve offloaded all the baggage that isn’t yours to worry about, what’s left?

Well, these are your personal responsibilities on your own life path.  These are the things you’ve chosen to take on board or we could say, this is the stuff that you are allowed to worry about.

But….At the end of the day, we all know that worrying gets us nowhere.

All it does is create more stress inside of us.  We become anxious or depressed about the thought of multiple scenarios happening (which never usually come to fruition) and we rapidly diminish our health and peace of mind – we know this – but yet, we still worry?

So, what do we do?

After all, if we know that worrying causes us nothing but more grief and harm to our internal system and we still stubbornly go ahead and worry anyway, what’s the solution?

Well, starting from today, for the next 7 days (that’s just one short week out of your entire life), I want you to commit to “worrying”.

Because, let’s be honest!  You’re gonna do it anyway, right?

But…. There’s a catch!

That is…. You must “worry” and constantly “visualise” everything that could go RIGHT !!

YES !!!  Instead of “worrying” about all the morbid scenarios, I want you to “worry” about all the grand scenarios, worry about what COULD GO RIGHT !

For example; let’s say our mind starts with the; “Oh, what’s the point, I’m just going to fail anyway.”

Instantly change that to; “What if I succeed?  How awesome would my life be then?”

“What if that guy or girl says yes?”

“What if I get the amazing job?”

“What if I pass with flying colours?”

Imagine all the things turning out to your advantage.

So, for the next seven days, commit to do what we all naturally do – worry – but give it a twist by “worrying” about all the favourable outcomes.  Constantly see, the scenarios in your mind’s eye, working out in your favour.

Plug up another hole in your Cup of Life by investing your energy, imagining everything going right.  Rather than, exhausting your energies by being concerned about morbid events that are highly-likely to never happen!

Now, for the fourth and final quick-fix to reinforcing your Cup of Life….

STEP 4:  Drop The ‘Takers’ And Those That Drain You

Now, I’m betting on the fact, that you’ve experienced those people within your life, who are simply ‘takers’.

You know how it goes, right?

You give, they take (without any remorse or guilt).  You give again and they take some more.   Simply put, the more you give, the more they’re willing to take.

It’s very easy to identify these people within our lives because they leave us feeling drained and exhausted.

We’re quite literally pouring our Cup of Life into theirs.   Willingly allowing all of our energy to leave our cup and refill theirs.

Which is great for them, but not so great for us.

So, what’s the solution?

Firstly, we must identify these people within our lives.

Once identified, we have a choice to make.

  1. We cut them out of our lives completely.
  2. Or, we reduce our exposure to them.

Now, if cutting someone out of your life makes you feel uncomfortable.  That’s natural but I just want you to ask yourself…..

Do they bring anything to your life or simply take from it?

Do they uplift you or drain you?

Only you will know the answers to these questions.

Of course, it’s not always possible to cut someone out of our lives completely.  After all, we may be related to them or we may have to work with them on a daily basis.  If this is the case, we need to simply reduce our exposure to them as much as humanly possible and establish firm personal boundaries.

Now, boundaries are just a way to show others what’s okay and what’s not.  Or, what’s acceptable to us and what’s unacceptable.

As the saying goes…

People will treat us, how we allow them to treat us.

So, if you’re not okay with how others treat you, say so.

If you’re not okay with a certain behaviour or treatment, let others know in a calm and compassionate way.

Now, this can easily be communicated in various ways.  For instance, we can keep it as simple as; ‘that behaviour is not okay with me.’

Or, we can be more elaborate, by saying; ‘when you treat me like that, it makes me feel like you don’t respect me (or you don’t listen to me, or you don’t value my opinion)’.

When we communicate how we honestly feel to others or what’s acceptable and not acceptable to us, we’re not only plugging up all those leaky holes in our Cup of Life but we’re also doing a great service because we’re allowing the other person to learn (via us) what their actions or behaviours demonstrate to others.

Be aware, we’re not always aware of how are actions are seen by others, or how they affect others in different ways.  Since, everybody is an individual, it’s great to be told what another does or doesn’t feel comfortable with.

This is how, we naturally establish healthy boundaries within every relationship.

So, don’t be afraid to establish personal boundaries, especially around those pushy, over-domineering people who will do their level best to keep breaking down your boundaries and pushing past them.

See those people as the ones hoping to hold their Cup of Life, beneath yours, draining your energy, to re-fill theirs.

From today, always remember….

We have all been given a precious Cup of Life and it’s for us to decide, whether we spend it or invest it.

  • We can choose to fritter it away on anything or anyone at whim. Allowing ourselves to be drained, just like the holey coffee cup.
  • Or we invest it wisely, allowing it to be used only on select people or circumstances which continue to re-fill our cup of life, not exhaust it.

Now, I hope you enjoyed this article, if you did, please leave a positive comment or share this it with someone you know.

Until next time, remember…..

You are the one and only, magnificent masterpiece of you + nobody can take your place.

Take care, talk to you soon 🙂

Michael FrattaroliOpens in a new tab.
Tyler NixOpens in a new tab.

Marie O'Neil

As an Overcoming Depression Specialist, I get so frustrated with all the 'mental illness myths' and half-truths keeping people stuck in the downward spiral of depression. It doesn’t need to be that way! THERE IS A WAY OUT! If I can do it, so can you! You just need the right, time-tested tools and proven strategies to help you do it. And, that's what this website is all about. Giving you light in the darkest of times. To learn more about me simply click here.

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