Anger in Depression: How do I stop being so angry?

Anger in Depression: How do I stop being so angry?


Are you struggling to deal with great frustration and anger in depression?  Do you find yourself lashing out at loved ones in great anger, even if you don’t want to?  Are you wondering how to stop all those angry tears that you may be experiencing in depression?

If your answer is “yes” to any of those questions, be sure to stay tuned to this episode of Overcome Depression + Thrive.   Because, that’s exactly what we’re going to be tackling today!

How to stop being so full of anger in depression… Even, if you have no idea what’s driving it!



As always, it’s great to have you here!   I’m your host Marie O’Neil, Author of How To Create A Depression-Free Life and creator of the Complete Self-Help System For Overcoming DepressionOpens in a new tab.; an online portal, jam-packed with everything you need to overcome depression and naturally reset your internal chemistry.

Now, it’s pretty natural for us to experience the likes of;  anger, defensiveness, aggression or even rage in depression.   I explain in greater detail why this is natural and nothing to be ashamed of in my Free On-Demand Masterclass, which you can view at in a new tab..

Today, I want to spend what little time we have together covering the most important piece of the puzzle, which is:

How do we finally put a stop to the frustration and anger that arises within us when we’re in a state of depression?

Because, here’s the deal…

If we don’t get rid of this anger once and for all…  If we don’t stop lashing out at others…

This is what’s going to continue to happen:


We’re struggling in depression, anger arises, we lash out at loved ones, then we feel ashamed, guilty and bad about lashing out, which drives us deeper into depression.

Then, our anger rises once again, we lash out, then we feel awful and this never-ending cycle of depression and anger / anger and depression continues.

So, we must put a stop to it, once and for all!

But, how do we do that when we’re caught in this vicious cycle of depression and anger issues?

Well, I’ll explain how you can swiftly transform your anger to free yourself from this cycle, in just a moment.

But first, I have a question…

Can you remember, a time during your childhood when your parents dressed you up in clothing or shoes that you thought were absolutely ridiculous, ugly or just down right embarrassing?

Maybe you had to wear a particular outfit, dress, tie or silly hat on special occasions and you hated every moment of it.

You didn’t want to wear it but you didn’t have a choice!

You know that feeling, right?

It’s that feeling, when you just can’t wait to get home and rip those silly clothes off so you can jump into something more comfortable, something more YOU.

Well, you need to start seeing anger in this very same way.

You see, anger is simply an uncomfortable ‘layer’ of energy, exactly like those embarrassing ‘layers’ of clothing we had to wear as children.

They are not a part of who we are and we can remove those ‘layers’ at any time, if we so choose.

And, that’s a major key in dissolving the anger from your life and stopping it from driving you into depression.

Understanding that anger is simply an “emotional energy” that passes through you, from time to time.

There’s nothing wrong with you.  You are not “mental”.  You are not an “angry person”, yes, you may have anger to process right now but that’s not who you are as a person.   It’s not your identity!   

Once you accept that anger is a ‘temporary emotion’ that we all experience, you’ll begin to lose the fear, judgement or animosity that usually surrounds anger.

As a result, instead of wanting to avoid or suppress anger, you can begin to fearlessly approach anger, rapidly transform it and finally put a stop to it driving you into depression.

Now, there are many proven processes to tackle anger and frustration from the roots but today, I’m going to share one of my personal favourites when it comes to dealing with anger in depression.

Here it is….

How to get rid of anger in depression.

Anytime you feel anger rise within you, experience the anger “as if” it’s the first time you’re experiencing it.  Don’t judge or condemn it.  Don’t label it as ‘anger’.  Simply, turn inward, close your eyes and become an inquisitive explorer.  Explore how this energy moves through your body.  Really experience the energy. 

Remember, if this was the very first time you were experiencing this energy, you wouldn’t be aware that it’s typically called ‘anger’,  so don’t label it as that.

Leave it as an unknown and just be aware.  Shift all your attention inwards and be totally absorbed in the energy.

Not labelling it as ‘anger’ is of vital importance!  Here’s why…

Every time, you label this experience, this energy as ‘anger’, you strengthen the ‘energy of anger’ within your system and strengthen all those neural pathways and patterns associated with it.

So, the key is to not label it and just experience it.

Be like an innocent child, full of awareness without any thought or judgement.  Just feel how the energy moves through your system.  Don’t resist.  Don’t condemn.  Don’t label or judge it.

Just observe the energy with total awareness.

Don’t be tempted to instantly reject this simple, yet deeply-transformative technique without trying it for yourself.

Because, if you look, you’ll see that what we’re doing in this highly-transformative technique, is we’re taking all that energy that’s typically wasted on judging, condemning or suppressing anger and we’re turning it all inwards and focusing it solely on the ‘energy of anger’ itself.

And, this is the key!

Using the light of your own awareness to transform the anger, in the moment.

The truth is, no matter how long you’ve had anger in depression or how deep you’re in it, when you complete this technique with a genuine commitment to help yourself, you will see that anytime you experience the ‘energy of anger’ with complete awareness, one of two things will happen (depending upon what’s driving your anger)…

The first, is that the ‘energy of anger’ will naturally transform and you will feel an instant release and lightness.

You will have dissolved the ‘energy of anger’ in the moment and reduced it’s demonstrative impact on your life.

Or, you may feel the ‘energy of anger’ transform into another emotion.   More often than not, it’s usually in the form of sadness.  You may even feel tears well up inside or begin to spill over.

That’s okay, it’s natural and it’s actually great news!

I’ll explain why in a moment but first, let me ask you…

  • Have you ever started crying during or after being really angry?
  • Have you ever experienced anger in times of grief, loss or great sadness?

Well, whether we’re aware of it or not, anger and sadness are in fact the very same energy.   And, to dissolve anger in depression we must also be willing to look into our sadness.

Because, just like a pendulum swings from left to right, sadness can rapidly turn into anger and anger into sadness.

They are two sides of the same coin.

  • Sadness is a passive form of anger.
  • Anger is an active form of sadness.

To understand this clearer, let’s imagine a see-saw with sadness on one end and anger on the other.


Now, if one emotion becomes heavier it will naturally de-press that end of the see-saw, causing the other emotion to naturally rise to the surface.


Be aware, it’s the emotion we’ve been forcing down and de-pressing, that’s the underlying driver of our de-pression and subsequent anger.   Not the one being ex-pressed on the surface.

The ex-pressed emotion is merely a reflection, of what’s being de-pressed beneath the surface.

This is the very reason why so many people remain stuck in this vicious cycle of depression and anger – anger and depression.

Simply because the usual therapies and mainstream solutions are focussed on fixing the ‘superficial’ or ‘surface level’ emotion of anger that we are expressing.

However, the ‘roots’ of our anger can be found in the fertile soil of sadness; the unprocessed grief, the unaccepted loss, the unhealed hurts, the held-back tears, the emotions we are shutting down or de-pressing within.   These are the real heart of the issue.

Therefore, if you’re experiencing great anger in depression, ask yourself…

  • What sadness are you burying?
  • Is there any grief that you haven’t let go of?
  • Are there tears you’re holding back?
  • Is something upsetting you that you don’t wish to acknowledge?
  • What hurts have you not looked at?
  • Is there any period of your life that you’ve simply buried and refused to look at?

Truth is, whether you want to hear it or not, if you’re in depression you are de-pressing something.   We don’t find ourselves in depression because of bad luck or bad genes, there is a reason….

And, it usually begins with a de-pression of an emotional energy that we don’t want to deal with.  Which then goes on to affect our internal chemistry, keeping us stuck in a cycle of depression.

So, start delving deeper.  Start moving inward and experiencing this ‘energy of anger’ in a brand-new way.    Don’t fight the anger, don’t try to manage or control it.  Simply observe the ‘energy of anger’ in depression.

Don’t label it as “anger” because that ‘labelling’ strengthens the neural patterns and pathways within your brain, which is the exact opposite of what you want! 

Just turn your complete awareness inward and be in the moment with what you are experiencing.

And, if this ‘energy of anger’ transforms into sadness, that’s okay, it’s natural.

Allow any tears to flow and simply experience this sadness “as if” you’re an innocent child experiencing it for the very first time. 

Remember, if this WAS your very first time experiencing this energy, you wouldn’t be aware that it’s called ‘sadness’, so don’t label it as such.  Leave it as an unknown and just be aware.

Turn your complete awareness inward and be in the moment with what you are experiencing.

Because, here’s the deal…

There is absolutely nothing in life that cannot be rapidly transformed by the ‘light of awareness’.   And, that includes; anger and depression.

So, you can do this!

You CAN transform your anger or any unresolved hurt, sadness or grief, so you can finally break yourself free from the vicious cycle of anger and depression.   And, all it takes is a little awareness.

Now, I know, I’m completely unaware of what challenges you may be facing in your life right now.

But, I do know that no matter what you’re going through, once faced head on and dealt with, you will unlock an unbreakable strength.   A strength which can never be taken away from you.

In fact, after everything I’ve been through, I’ve come to recognise that the seemingly ‘low points’ in life, are merely ‘spring-boards’ to much greater heights.

Just think about it….

The lower the spring-board goes, the greater heights you can reach.

springboard-anger and depressionAfter all, the spring board MUST bounce back the same distance, in the opposite direction, right?   That’s the laws of physics and ultimately, the laws of the universe.

Thanks for joining me on today’s episode. I hope you enjoyed it.

What would you like to do next?

Until next time, remember…

No matter how bad you think your anger or depression is, you CAN transform it.   You just need the keys to do it and those keys are already within you.

Take care and talk soon,

Marie O'Neil

As an Overcoming Depression Specialist, I get so frustrated with all the 'mental illness myths' and half-truths keeping people stuck in the downward spiral of depression. It doesn’t need to be that way! THERE IS A WAY OUT! If I can do it, so can you! You just need the right, time-tested tools and proven strategies to help you do it. And, that's what this website is all about. Giving you light in the darkest of times. To learn more about me simply click here.

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